449-425

Ok, I've got my strength back. Time for more movies.

449. The Siege (1998) D: Edward Zwick

A servicable flick, billed as action, combining the considerable talents of Bruce Willis and Denzel. More of a thriller than a straight action movie, the plot would be far more pointed in a post 9/11 era.

Performance to Savor: None
Memorable Moment: None

448. A Perfect Murder (1998) D: Andrew Davis

Well lit and photographed, though the acting is quite wooden. Especially Viggo. Gwyneth is just not a good actress in general, and Michael Douglas plays Michael Douglas. Predictable plot twists resulting in an unsatisfying ending.

Performance to Savor: None
Memorable Moment: None

447. The River Wild (1994) D: Curtis Hanson

Hanson would go on to make "LA Confidential", so I can forgive him this. When I first saw the premise, I was somewhat confused as to how they would make an effective 'thriller' set in a river raft. Seeing the movie did not ease my confusion.

Performance to Savor: Meryl Streep
Memorable Moment: None

446. American Pie 2 (2001) D: James B. Rogers

I'd like to think I'm not a movie snob. The original American Pie was a good movie. The second time around, however, the characters seem stale, and I get the impression that their heart isn't quite in it. Duplicating the magic of an original is a gamble, and it doesn't pay off here.

Performance to Savor: None
Memorable Moment: None

445. American Psycho (2000) D: Mary Harron

I haven't read the book by Bret Easton Ellis (sp?), so I allow that I am missing crucial elements. I have a feeling I will get a comment about the low ranking here (brian?). BUT...I've already discussed the primality I place on a good ending, and the lame one in place doomed this Psycho. Everyone seems to be on Christian Bale's bandwagon, but I'm still hesitant to get on. I'm such a weirdo. I like Colin Farrel but no Christian Bale. What the hell is the matter with me? Am I 12?

Performance to Savor: None
Memorable Moment: None

444. Hellboy (2004) D: Guillermo Del Toro

Ooh...Several websites which I frequent had this as in their Top Whatever of 2004. I just don't see it. Again, lacking the expansion provided by the source material, I admit that my enjoyment is flawed. However, it is the filmmaker's responsibility to appeal to those who haven't read the comic/book/whatever as well.

Performance to Savor: None
Memorable Moment: None

443. Apt Pupil (1998) D: Bryan Singer

I saw this when I was 16. Not yet ready to fully appreciate movies whose full emphasis is on character growth (or lack thereof). I fancied myself a movie conosuer (fuck it), but mostly this was for show...for my friends. I was attempting to distance myself from the broad strokes painted on high school students, especially rural ones, by allowing myself a fine taste which my pallete was not quite ready to experience. So...my judgement on this stands, but with reservations. (Not Indian ones.)

Performance to Savor: Ian McKellan
Memorable Moment: None

442. Blade (1998) D: Stephen Norrington

Wow, this must be the section where Alex stuffs movies based on graphic novels that he hasn't read. Great.

Performance to Savor: None
Memorable Moment: None

441. Charlie's Angels (2000) D: McG

Anybody else willing to admit they'd rather watch this than, say, "Seabiscuit" or "Apt Pupil"?

Performance to Savor: Bill Murray
Memorable Moment: None

440. Clueless (1995) D: Amy Heckerling

Suprisingly rewatchable, given my penchant for distancing myself from deeply superficial, spiritually materialistic, pleasantly annoying people. But, there's heart here, and an element of sweetness.

Performance to Savor: None
Memorable Moment: None

439. The Land Before Time (1988) D: Don Bluth

I saw this when I was 6 and I loved it. Don't remember a damn thing other than the main dude was a baby brontosaurus named "Littlefoot".

Performance to Savor: None
Memorable Moment: None

438. Gattaca (1997) D: Andrew Niccol

Interesting vision of a future dystopia. Uma and Ethan are (gulp) well-cast, given their stoic demeanors are suited for the stark, sanitized, ordered world in which they live.

Performance to Savor: None
Memorable Moment: None

437. The Naked Gun 33 1/3 (1994) D: Peter Segal

Liutenant Drebin finally outstays his welcome, and Leslie Nielson is forever cursed to appear in "Spoofs". Only remotely funny because of its ties to the original, much more classic "Naked Gun".

Performance to Savor: None
Memorable Moment: None

436. The Dead Zone (1983) D: David Cronenberg

All of my earlier discussion about source material should be taken with a grain of salt. More often than not, reading the book only causes disappointment with the cinematic version of the tale. As is the case here, often filmmakers steralize the source for marketing strategies, only to find their celluloid mutation is almost completely without merit. Read the book. Oh yeah, Stephen King novels don't work on the big screen. (Rule #276).

Performance to Savor: Christopher Walken
Memorable Moment: None

435. Rules of Engagement (2000) D: William Friedkin

I watched this in Jake(s)' pimp sophomore apartment, after my pilot never showed up to the airport and my flight was cancelled. I doubt that I gave it my full attention.

Performance to Savor: None
Memorable Moment: None

434. Men Of Honor (2000) D: George Tillman Jr.

This is a 'cheap' movie. I mean that in the sense that it doesn't have to work hard for your emotion, and thus, does not leave a significant impression. I could make a scary movie where all of the scares come from quick, sudden, loud noises, but true fear comes from a sense of suspense, terror, waiting...Here, your emotions are solocited through the tale of a black man overcoming racism in the navy, but it never truly takes its gloves off and forces you to notice.

Performance to Savor: Robert De Niro
Memorable Moment: None

433. The Terminal (2004) D: Steven Spielberg

More of a product of failed expectations that actual mediocrity. With such a pedigree, I expected nothing short of perfection. When confronted with the reality of the picture, I reacted negatively...perhaps unjustly.

Performance to Savor: Stanley Tucci
Memorable Moment: None

432. Half-Baked (1998) D: Tamra Davis

A classic, I know. I'm ready for the criticism. Let me just say: Dave Chapelle should not be allowed to make fun of white people. He was in "You've Got Mail". Think about that.

Performance to Savor: None
Memorable Moment: None

431. Northfork (2003) D: Michael Polish

One of the most beautifully imagined and shot movies I've seen. Excellent capturing of the bleak eastern Montana landscape. Clever story, though more appropriately told in a short film. Feature length just does not suit the narrative here.

Performance to Savor: None
Memorable Moment: None

430. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) D: Marcus Nispel

Grimy, dirty, sleazy, sick, wet, bloody, tattered, broke, ugly.

Performance to Savor: R. Lee Ermey
Memorable Moment: None

429. Death Becomes Her (1992) D: Robert Zemeckis

This movie won an Academy Award for Special Effects, and appropriately so, though the themes were entirely lost on my 10 year old brain.

Performance to Savor: None
Memorable Moment: None

428. The Butterfly Effect (2004) D: Eric Bress

Alright. It starts Ashton Kutcher, and its not in the 700s. One of the more major suprises I've had. Actually, it handles the problem of time travel quite well, though the method in which it is carried out is a bit suspect. I really liked the ending, which is a definite plus. Amy Smart was not suited for this role, and I don't know why.

Performance to Savor: None
Memorable Moment: None

427. Dawn of the Dead (2004) D: Zach Snyder

A one-trick pony, with plenty of fantasy elements to keep you happy. Unlimited access to a mall. Murder without guilt, etc...

Performance to Savor: Ving Rhames
Memorable Moment: None

426. Remember the Titans (2000) D: Boaz Yakin

Whoa, the Sports Guy would not be happy. Then again, well...there is no then again. He's pretty much better than me in every way. Maybe I should move this.

Performance to Savor: None
Memorable Moment: None

425. Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)

The accent, clothes, jokes, villain....eveything, is wearing thin. How lame was it to have Austin's dad be exactly like Austin? Wouldn't it have been funnier if they were completely unalike? Then agin...I'm a math tutor in Brooklyn Park. What do I know?

Performance to Savor: None
Memorable Moment: None