299-275

I'm an idiot. Just so you know.

We've finally gotten to movies that are 2.5 stars, which means they are better than average, which means I "like" them. This'll make them a bit easier to discuss, though I'm putting a bit more on the line by labeling movies that I like...I'm more open to criticism. That's ok, I totally understand how people react to different movies in different ways. Thanks, Captain Obvious. What do y'all think? Is it ballsier to say you don't like a movie that everyone likes, or to say you like a movie that everyone dislikes. I'm gonna go with like a movie that everyone dislikes.

299. The Negotiator (1998) D: F. Gary Gray

Gray coaxes virtuoso performances out of Kevin Spacey and Sam Jackson, though S-Jax could have used a bit more subtlety. A solid little pic, which uses its action sparingly, and mostly only to advance the complex, yet followable, plotline.

Performance to Savor: Kevin Spacey
Memorable Moment: None

298. Pretty Woman (1990) D: Garry Marshall

I didn't realized how much I liked this movie until I watched it post-pubescence. At a young age, this seems so mind-bendingly girly that even mentioning it as a good movie would result in a noogie or a wedgie. Fortunately, I've grown past that phase (barely), and I'm now able to recognize "Pretty Woman" for what it is. A well-written character study of how love and personality can overcome place and position in society.

Performance to Savor: Julia Roberts
Memorable Moment: Trying on new clothes

297. Traffic (2000) D: Steven Soderbergh

Well, here we go. I've ventured in to the arena of someone else's favorites (Jake(s)). I knew this would happen. I could put this higher, but I just can't accept the different places, different characters, different plot style. I've mentioned this before, and I'll say it again. Pick something and go with it. I appreciate the style and tone of each individual piece, but I just wish Soderbergh had focused his scope a bit tighter.

Performance to Savor: Benicio Del Toro
Memorable Moment: None

296. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002) D: Chris Columbus

Jake'll probably tackle me for ranking this above his beloved Traffic. And I would totally understand. But...I've read all the books so far, and it is quite a compelling story. The movie adaptions have been decent, with only the third being a great stand-alone. Emma Watson is a little gem. I like kids movie, remember?

Performance to Savor: Jason Isaacs
Memorable Moment: None

295. The Doctor (1991) D: Randa Haines

Like "Pretty Woman" this is another one of those movies that requires a certain level of maturity and life experience to appreciate. Not that I have either of those, but enough to glean some small level of enjoyment.

Performance to Savor: William Hurt
Memorable Moment: None

294. Spaceballs (1987) D: Mel Brooks

May the "Schwarz" be with you! A suprisingly effective use of Rick Moranis in comedy, without resorting to his cliched nerditude. Utilizing it, not amplifying it.

Performance to Savor: John Candy
Memorable Moment: With Yogurt

293. Scream (1996) D: Wes Craven

Before the franchise becamse self-referential about itself being self-referential, there was the original, which spawned numerous cheap imitations. Witty and clever (it was, you know it), the horror movies we see today are a direct result of the success of this movie.

Performance to Savor: None
Memorable Moment: None

292. The Italian Job (2003) D: F. Gary Gray

Wow, FGG gettin' it done. No one really expected this remake to be any good, but Gray wisely kept it light and fun, while infusing a bit of humanity into the potentially cardboard cutout leads. Marky-Mark continues to play essentially the same guy, but he does it well here.

Performance to Savor: Jason Statham
Memorable Moment: None

291. Lord of the Flies (1990) D: Harry Hook

Poorly shot. Poorly acted. Poorly written. Why so high then? As a young man, and other formerly young men would agree with, I often fantasized about the prospect of being trapped on an island with no adults, and no responsiblities. My fantasies always ended in success. "Lord of the Flies" changed all of that.

Performance to Savor: None
Memorable Moment: None

290. Almost Famous (2000) D: Cameron Crowe

I got more out of the "Young-man-in-life-changing-experience" then I did out of the musical setting.

Performance to Savor: Billy Crudup
Memorable Moment: None

289. Mission: Impossible (1996) D: Brian DePalma

What can I say? I love Tom Cruise.

Performance to Savor: Tom Cruise
Memorable Moment: In the Chunnel

288. Eraser (1996) D: Chuck Russell

A middle of the road Schwarzenegger flick. Definitely not in the Pantheon (T2, Commando, Total Recall), but better than shit like Junior and the 6th Day.

Performance to Savor: None
Memorable Moment: None

287. Joe Versus the Volcano (1990)

Whenever people say Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, they jump Sleepless in Seattle, or You've Got Mail. Really, they should come here, because this is by far the best pairing of the two. Meg Ryan is truly outstanding in this flick.

Performance to Savor: Meg Ryan
Memorable Moment: None

286. Ghostbusters II (1989)

Thankfully the gang stopped at two movies, because the with a third they definitely would have worn themselves thin. There are some rehashed gags here, and the social commentary is a bit ham-handed. But, its all in good fun, and Bill Murray is a comedic god.

Performance to Savor: Bill Murray
Memorable Moment: None

285. A Bug's Life (1998) D: John Lasseter

Pixar get's its legs underneath itself.

Performance to Savor: None
Memorable Moment: None

284. What About Bob? (1991) D: Frank Oz

Bill Murray is absolutely perfect in this tale about a phobic loser who "baby steps" his way into his psychiatrists life. Richard Dreyfuss is in fine form as well as the asshole doctor whose life is turned miserable. The doc is tormented, but he mostly deserves it. The end kind of goes of the deep end, but, whatever.

Performance to Savor: Bill Murray
Memorable Moment: None

283. Don't Be A Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in The Hood (1995) D: Paris Barclay

Some genuinely funny moments, though no deep belly laughs which are required for a higher ranking. Satire is best done subtley, which would've gone a long way here.

Performance to Savor: None
Memorable Moment: None

282. Billy Madison (1995) D: Tamra Davis

My criteria for liking movies are completely arbitrary. Its hard to mathematically describe what will make a movie good, and what won't. For example, I could laud a movie for its lightness and fun (umm...Billy Madison), then in another instance condescend one for it (Don't Be a Menace). I guess I'm saying that I don't really know what I'm talking about. I just like watching Billy Madison. I think it is funny.

Performance to Savor: None
Memorable Moment: Kid under water hose

281. Wet Hot American Summer (2001) D: David Wain

Huge diamond in the rough. From the guys who made "The State", which I vaguely remember watching in anticipation of Beavis and Butt-head. I excpected next to nothing from this comedy, and was rewarded with two hours of genuine amusement. Check it out.

Performance to Savor: None
Memorable Moment: Trip to town

280. A Christmas Story (1983) D: Bob Clark

The christmas movie that is on every year. Y'know, the one where the kid wants the BB gun. When and how did this become such a cult classic? Probably because pretty much everyone can identify with young Ralphie. What a weird little flick.

Performance to Savor: None
Memorable Moment: None

279. It's A Wonderful Life (1946) D: Frank Capra

Ahh, a true classic. I guess. Its not really as good as you remember it. Sure, its been imitated countless time, so I give it props for originality. Solid, but not that rewatchable.

Performance to Savor: None
Memorable Moment: None

278. Moulin Rouge! (2001) D: Baz Luhrman

The most suprising thing for me to learn about this movie was that Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman sang all of their own songs. Very impressive. I especially liked the showy show-show versions of modern pop songs, like "Smells Like Teen Spirit".

Performance to Savor: Nicole Kidman
Memorable Moment: None

277. Beetlejuice (1988) D: Tim Burton

Quirky and original, this movie reminds us what kind of actor Michael Keaton could be. Compare that to what he actually is. Great.

Performance to Savor: Michael Keaton
Memorable Moment: None

276. Last Man Standing (1996) D: Walter Hill

A remake of a Kirosawa flick which I haven't seen, this is nonetheless worthy on its own merit. Bruce Willis is at his Bruce Williest (acting hungover), but the direction is top notch. Who the hell is Walter Hill? Christopher Walken also turns in a bravado performance. Of course he does.

Performance to Savor: Christopher Walken
Memorable Moment: None

275. Meet the Parents (2000) D: Jay Roach

This movie came out at the perfect time in Ben Stiller's career. He had built up some cult popularity, his comedic timing was coming around, then blam! he scores Robert DeNiro, and all of a sudden we have a hit. Now, he's everywhere and he sucks.

Performance to Savor: Robert DeNiro
Memorable Moment: Take you down to chinatown